The Best Pool in The World

Week 1 - a time for celebration, even if the Pentagon fest won't let us in today

2005-09-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

Gents -

I awoke this morning like a retarded child on
Christmas morning - pretty sure something was going on
given all the pretty decorations, but not quite sure
what to expect.  Another NFL Season is truly before
us.  That whole Thursday night kickoff assfest can
lick me where I pee.  So to speak.  This is when the
real boys act like men and get bizzy.  Fo shizzle.
Wait, wait - before I descend into a caffeine-induced
haze of subreferential crap, let me take care of some
bizness.

Colin Palmer is a good man.  Gawd knows that even if
he's making a considerable fortune selling
seizure-inducing animation or video games or crack or
whatever he's peddling lately, Colin's one of the
good'uns.  So he will stay on my weekly update list.
Even if he's too much of a pussy to get picks in while
still taking the time to get his knob polished in the
world's most unseemly locales.  Maybe he'll be back
next year.  As they say every year in the Milwaukee
Brewers' pre-season planning sessions, this is a
rebuilding year.  We're nonetheless pleased to be
joined by Ted and Sockie for this annual ritual.
After the mass migration in such inglorious wussidity
by the NY-chapters before last season, Colin's
temporary exit is entirely understood.  We'll miss
taking his cash.  We'll miss his warm embrace.  No
wait, mainly we'll miss the cash.

Anyhoo, I'll send along updates later in the day, but
here's my picks.  On Thursday, Jug, Bob and meself got
the NE pick right.  Ted and Sockie - not so much.

Texans
Bungles
Seahags
Chiefs
Broncos
Vikes
Tits
Skins
Lions
Cards
Charge!
Rams
Pants
Colts
Eagles

FeaturePick:  Skins 24-13

And so it begins again.  Check the blog for this
posting and other updates.  For the time being, they
will come by email.  But I hope to add us all to the
update list to get more direct shtick in the future.
Warm bacon and hearty bonghits to everyone.

Ever -
E.

Welcome to Our World

2005-09-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen -

Contrary to what you may have heard from the so-called mainstream media, Hurricane Katrina did not wash away our Football Pool this season. We are alive and well, our shorts are largely dry, and we've even got two new chums to add to the scrum. As this year's Commish (a title lovingly enscribed on the tags of all my Underoos), I want to present our traditional Pre-Season Reminder Wedgie Meant to Get Our Football Brains in a Bunch. But I'm doing so remotely because I'm in Chicago this week - or more acurately, the suburban slum filled with McMansions and TGIFridays that is Naperville. Blame it on my wife and her interminable striving toward a successful doctorish life (she's doing a Board exam prep course and I'm here as the Manny for our daughter). But I'll be back in San Francisco on Friday. The first game of the NFL Season is tomorrow night (Oakland @ NE - check the USAToday's Danny Sheridan line tomorrow for the line). So you're first pick and Pre-Season Pot entries are due before gametime. But before I get too far ahead of myself, let me take care of some introductory business.

We've got two new poolies this year. One is a good friend of mine and Jug's, the other is a passionate Packer fan living in Seattle that Bob and I got to know at a dinner with Lisa Schultz/Gold and her hubbie Aron. I hope everyone will agree that since we're a small group with no more NY-girlie-men in our midst, the endorsement of a pair of current Poolies will sufficiently allow for their inclusion into our little knitting circle. So our new Poolies are:

Patrick "Sockie" Savage (savagepd@yahoo.com) - Sockie grew up in the Land of the Jolly Green Giant (Le Sueur, MN) with current Poolie Christopher "Jug" George (jug_george@comcast.net). And then Sockie and Jug attended the University of Minnesota with me, so I can second the nomination. Sockie lives in San Jose, works as a Second Grade teacher, and should be a Vikings fan (although he is a pretty smart feller, so he has voiced his doubts about the franchise in years past). I get drunk with Sockie everytime I see him. He's never thrown up on me. In short, good people.

Ted "Fill in an Appropriate Nickname Here" Martin (tedamartin@yahoo.com) - Ted showed up at the dinner where Bob & I met him and witnessed his manishness wearing a vintage-styled Milwaukee Brewers jersey. He grew up in Milwaukee. He's a Packers fan. He went to the University of Wisconsin. He lives in Seattle. His wife was not happy that he bought that Brewers jersey (sorry, Ted - Aron told me that story). Ted's never killed a man just to watch him die. He swears it was justified. But even though I'm pretty short on the bio, I expect his picking prowess will allow us to welcome him like a Downs-Syndrome cousin to our back-of-the-room table at a family reunion as if we'd always secretly admired his inspired idiocy. Or something like that. Regardless, I encourage Ted to offer up an intro in reply if he's interested just to show us who's taking our collective cash or filling our collective coffers this Season.

And so that we've laid out the New Poolies, let's reiterate the rules. This ain't no Fantasy League (not that there's anything wrong with that lifestyle). So our Charter requires these aspects of Betting through the Season:

1. Each week we pick EVERY game. According to the line offered by the USAToday's Danny Sheridan line on Friday. If you still need help to find it, Google the mo'fo'. Or let me know. But the point is simple - we are all competing for the Weekly Pot (ante per person - $7.50), and we are all competing for the Overall Season Record Standings. Total up every week and you get your Overall Record. At the end of the Regular Season, someone finishes in First Place and someone finishes in Last Place (lovingly considered the Hugest Loser - who antes an additional $25 for the indignity). As we go along, I as Commish keep us updated with weekly updates as to the Overall Standings. That will occur both by email and on our Pool Blog (same as last year - http://bestpoolintheworld.blogspot.com/). Look over there and you'll see this email copied (minus the phone numbers). You'll be fully informed, I assure you. And amazed. Maybe.

2. Each week we also pick one game's exact score - call it the FeaturePick. You need to get the winner right (duh). And then the person closest to the exact score wins that Pot (ante per person - $2.50).

3. Each week the person with the shittiest record is deemed the BigLoser and antes an additional $5 into the End o' Season Overall Winner Pot.

--- So, for the New Poolies - you ante up $10 per week and if you're the BigLoser you also throw in an additional $5. So the max on any given week is $15. There are some extreme examples of when this might be increased, which has never happened in 15 years of this Pool operating. Such as if someone goes 16-0 or if they hit their FeaturePick exactly on the nuts - in each case the ante for those Pots would be at least doubled. But for the sake of argument, consider the 17 Week Season as a $170 ante with the chance for more if you suck. Any way you measure it, this is a fabulous amount of betting for a low entry fee. As Bob would say, sounds like my Prom date. And all of this accounting is done as an aggregate through the Season, and no one sends anything to the Commish if they owe it until after the Super Bowl.
---

4. We all need to pick teams for the Pre-Season Super Bowl Pot. Pick one team from the AFC, one team from the NFC, the resulting Super Bowl Winner, a score for that hypothetical match-up, and a tie-breaker team from either Conference. So, as an example, I might say the Packers will meet the Seahawks, Pack wins 72-4, and the Eagles are my tiebreaker. For this Pot each of us ante up $25, to be awarded to whoever gets closest to the actual Super Bowl result.

5. We have a Playoff Pot, in which we all pick every playoff game through the Super Bowl. There's a graduated point scheme (trust me, it makes total sense and has been tested by time) and we all ante up $25 for this Pot. Winner take all.

6. Side bets are welcomed. Such as Bob and I have a $50/$50/$50 bet - first half season through Week 9 best Overall record/second half season through end of season best record/Overall best record. Jug and I bet a dinner for the best Overall record. Sockie and I will probably bet a giant cookie for something. If you want, get your swerve on. I don't need to say this, but I thought you might all want to know that this sort of mano a mano stuff is encouraged.

AND SO...what we've got is a Pool of Six. To be redundant:

- Bob "John Elway is Too Smily" Wayman - bobbus451@yahoo.com (Seattle resident, Donkeys fan)
- Colin "Corrupting Our Youth Electronically" Palmer - colin.palmer@comcast.net (Seattle resident, Seahags fan)
- Christopher "Even My Mom Calls Me Jug" George - jug_george@comcast.net (St. Paul resident, Vikes fan)
- Patrick "Me Sockie You Long Time" Savage - savagepd@yahoo.com (San Jose resident, possibly reluctant Vikes fan)
- Ted "not Don or Dean" Martin - tedamartin@yahoo.com (Seattle resident, Packers fan)
- Eric "the Commish" Magnuson - e_magnuson@yahoo.com (San Francisco resident, Packers fan)

If any of this is unclear, let me know. I typed it up with our 6-month-old daughter, Maya, screaming her frickin' lungs out in the background. I'll follow up with a reminder email tomorrow. But you need to get me a pick for the Thursday game and your Pre-Season picks before kick-off. Expect lots of silliness this season. Some of it from me. Good luck clearing the sewage from your basements. I'm talking to you, Dr. John. Rock on.

Ever -
E.

End O' Season Tally

2005-02-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

Gents -

First of all, I hope everyone's surviving the NFL off-season. MLB Spring Training is kickin' in, March Madness is within sight, and we all have the chance to pay attention to a few other things in life around us. I'm occupying my freetime waiting for my first-born child, who's currently approaching a week late (lazy lit'l bugger...). I expect a boy (even though we don't know for sure) because he seems far more like the men in my family than the schedule-conscious women in my wife's family. But that's just a load of crap, in all likelihood. Expect, nonetheless, that I'll let you and the rest of the country know when things make themselves known (http://andthefamilybuick.blogspot.com/).

The matter you are surely hoping that I'll resolve is the tabulation of this season. So here we go...

Cost o' Playin'
Pre-Season Antes (25 for Overall, 10 for ChampPick) - $35
Weekly Antes - (10 per 17 weeks, plus an extra 2.50 for Jug's exacto scoro in Week 1's FeaturePick) - $172.50
Playoff Pot Ante - $25
SupaDupa Bowl Ante - $25
Total Ante (minus individual BigLoser Antes) - $257.50
BEAR IN MIND: BigLoser Antes to the Overall Pot - $5 per Loser, each week

Winnin' Totals
Jug - Overall, 3 Weeks, 6 FPs plus doublo exacto scoro bonus in Week 1 - $365
Colin - 3 Weeks, 7 FPs, Pre-Season Pot, SupaDupa Pot - $300
Eric - 8 Weeks, 1 FP, Playoff Pot - $350
Bob - 3 Weeks, 3 FPs - $120

Losin' Totals
Jug - Ante+BigLoserness(x4)= $277.50
Colin - Ante+BigLoserness(x4)= $277.50
Eric - AnteBigLoserness(x6)= $287.50
Bob - AnteBigLoserness(x7)= $292.50

Net Totals
Jug - $87.50
Eric - $62.50
Colin - $22.50
Bob - minus$172.50

SideBet Total
Bob owes Eric - $50

And so, my dear friends, it appears as though our End o' Season exchange boils down to this - Bob needs to send a check to me in SF for $222.50 to settle everything up (1383 12th Ave SF, CA 94122). If anyone has issues with my math, yell.

A few other thoughts before we close the books on this thing. Most importantly, I want to expand next year, and I'm entirely willing to be Commish with a bigger group. I know of one individual that still says he wants to be in next year (Patrick Savage - MN native, male model, 2nd Grade Teacher, Man About Far-Outside-Of-Town). And I know that we can pull others in. I really believe we should shoot for a healthy 10 like-minded friends that would appreciate the amazing structure that this Pool's operative logic brings to the wonderfully staged-NFL experience. So sell the phucker. Get some new folks in the mix. Don't go chatboard crazy (not that any of you would) but seriously consider how to make this Pool even better. And then let me know. I'll post this final missive on our blog and then maintain the URL so we can use it next year (and send prospectives there, if they desire a bit more background).

Oh, and maybe I'm being extra-emotional because I'm about to squeeze a new human from the narrow canal that is my place in this world, but I really love having the chance to communicate with you men on a weekly basis during the silly, protracted onslaught that is the NFL Season. Stay in touch. I promise I will try to do so. Rock on.

Ever -
E.

End O' the Season, Beginning O' the Post-Season

2005-01-05T16:38:00.000-08:00

JUG WINS (the Regular Season)! So does, to a lesser degree, Colin (the double, final FeaturePick). And Eric BigLoses (this week), while Bob is the HugestLoser for the Regular Season. The final breakdowns as we enter the playoffs look like this:

Overall Standings
Jug 133-115-8 .519 (an amazing winning percentage, folks)
Colin 129-119-8 .504
Eric 126-122-8 .492
Bob 119-129-8 .465

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3, 8, 10-13
Jug 4-5, 15
Colin 6, 9, 14
Bob 7, 16, 17

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1* (double exact bonus), 3, 7, 9, 11-12
Colin 2, 5, 10, 13, 15, 16-17
Bob 4, 6, 8
Eric 14

BigLosers Won
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10
Jug 2, 8, 11, 14
Colin 3, 8, 13, 15
Eric 4, 7, 12, 14, 16, 17

Side Bets
Eric wins $50 from Bob (won first half and overall, lost second half - in a 50/50/50 bet).
Eric owes Jug a dinner.
Colin owes everyone some sort of Pokemon shit (I'd like a t-shirt, if you don't mind).

And so we enter the Playoffs. Everyone antes $25 for the whopping hunnerd doller pot. If you'd like to suggest more to make it innerestin, let me know. Otherwise, I'll tabulate out the monies soon. Hope everyone's out o' jail for the start of the New Year.

With One Week To Go...

2004-12-27T18:20:00.000-08:00

Here we are - the Regular season is down to the last week, and we've got a race to the finish to pull in that hefty pot. As for this Week, Bob wins Week 16, the FeaturePick is a push (Colin and Eric were both 11 points off, having picked the exact same score for the Seahags victory), and BigLoser is Eric.

The Overall end of the Regular Season race is still a three-headed tangle. Here's where we stand.

Overall Record Thus Far
JUG 128-104-8
COLIN 123-109-8
ERIC 122-110-8
BOB 110-122-8

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3, 8, 10-13
Jug 4-5, 15
Colin 6, 9, 14
Bob 7, 16

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1(doublo exacto bonuso), 3, 7, 9, 11-12
Colin 2, 5, 10, 13, 15
Bob 4, 6, 8
Eric 14

Big Losers Won
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10
Jug 2, 8, 11, 14
Colin 3, 8, 13, 15
Eric 4, 7, 12, 14, 16

Lots of money still out there on the table. Jug's got the control, but word is he chokes (pass it on). Bob needs a hefty Week followed by a massive collapse on my part to catch me in the overall on our 50-50-50 sidebet. Colin's lurking in the weeds like, um, some sort of sneaky Pokemon character with, like, magic deathhug powers or some shit.

NFL commentary note - even though everyone's eulogizing Reggie White with mawkish praise, I'll take the contrarian track and say that I don't buy all the "he was recently soul-searching" crapola being heaped on his sizable coffin. He did an incredibly good deed by coming to Green Bay in free agency, and all of my breathren will forever spill a bit off our 40s in tribute when his name gets dragged into the conversation. Can't forget his anti-gay rant before the 'Sconi legislature and the way he wore his uniform in similarly intolerant fullpage ads in newspapers, though. And thank gawd all those stupid midfield prayer sessions have come to pass.

So who's getting hot at the right time, both in our lit'l universe and the larger tangle that is the NFL? All answers will arrive soon enough. My only question of the NFL is simple - why the phuck have they chosen to go back to a two-week timeframe between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl? Sure, invading Iraq was a historic blunder. But I fear this choice may be far more damaging to the nation.

Anyhoo, good luck not getting arrested on New Year's. No Saturday or MNF games this week. Just one grand 16-game Sunday ghoulash of score-settling. Mmmm, ghoulash...

Pre-Festivus Edition Update

2004-12-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

And so here we are - two weeks before the end of the regular season on the Eve of Festivus. So this Santa/Costanza feels it's time for an update given how good y'all have been. Hereafter followed by the airing of grievances and the feats of strength. Good luck trying to pin MY ass.

Overall Record Thus Far
JUG 121-96-7
COLIN 117-100-7
ERIC 117-100-7
bob 101-116-7

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3, 8, 10-13
Jug 4-5, 15
Colin 6, 9, 14
Bob 7

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1(doublo exacto bonuso), 3, 7, 9, 11-12
Colin 2, 5, 10, 13, 15
Bob 4, 6, 8
Eric 14

Big Losers Won
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10
Jug 2, 8, 11, 14
Colin 3, 8, 13, 15
Eric 4, 7, 12, 14

Please remember, my merry gentlemen - games come this week on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'll be in 'Sconi through the 26th trying not to freeze my joolies off, before heading to Santa Barbara to defrost. Issues that arise can be addressed by email. Best of luck in the sprint to the finish. And I wish all the merriest of holidaze.

Ever -
E.

Post Week 12 Recap

2004-11-30T17:11:00.000-08:00

We're a bit behind on the updates. My fault entirely, I'll admit. So with no further adieu, here's where we stand after 12/17ths of the Regular Season:

Overall
Jug 97-73-6
Colin 94-76-6
Eric 93-77-6
Bob 77-93-6

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3, 8
Jug 4-5
Colin 6, 9
Bob 7

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1*(exacto doubla bonusa), 3, 7, 9, 11-12
Colin 2, 5, 10
Bob 4, 6, 8

Big Losernesses
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10
Jug 2, 8, 11
Colin 3, 8
Eric 4, 7, 12

Our upcoming Week 13 constitutes the first "big" Pot o' the year (a quad). And with the overall standings separated by a mere frog's hair between the top 3, there's plenty of footballin' still worth caring about. December arrives tomorrow and with it will come the sprint to the playoffs. The Pats, Steelmen and Eagles are the class of the League at this point, with a boatload of pretenders a handful of games back. Peyton Manning's the so-called man(ning) at this point in the MVP race. Ben Rothenhaggenwillaorsomethingtothateffect is still undefeated as a starter. Favre's getting more fawning praise than Tommy Lee's penis. Where will this all lead? Somewhere altogether predictable, in all likelihood. But at least we still have something worth fighting for in the weeks ahead. Best o' luck to all. Even to you, Bob.

Week 8 and Overall Results

2004-11-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

With our nation's future in pre-smoldering ruins, I return to the bastion of civility that is the Pool with an update of the overalls.

Week 8 went to Eric with 8 wins. Jug, Bob and Colin all pulled up BigLoserness with 7. Bob won the FeaturePick. And so here's where we stand one week before the ceremonial halfway point.

Jug 61-51-4 .526
Eric 61-51-4 .526
Colin 58-54-4 .500
Bob 49-63-4 .422

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3, 8
Jug 4, 5
Colin 6
Bob 7

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1* (perfect score double), 3, 7
Colin 2, 5
Bob 4, 6, 8

BigLosernesses
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6, 8
Jug 2, 8
Colin 3, 8
Eric 4, 7

There's little energy on my part to try to be funny. I'd much rather go kick the crap outta Tucker Carlson or a similar pumped-up, allegedly-mandated douchebag. May you all find your own ways of cutting loose in the days ahead.

O'Reilly on Vacation....

2004-10-27T17:29:00.000-07:00

"Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?"

Week 7 Results

2004-10-26T17:21:00.000-07:00

Bill O'Reilly Fans -
Having just spent a ridiculously long and beautifully out-of-hand evening with Jug in Minneapolis, I can confidently tell you he doesn't have a crystal ball. And in fact, he doesn't know shit from shineola. But he did try to claim that he had actually picked and wrote down 20-6 for last week's FeaturePick but at the last moment thought a non-touchdown-scoring total was somewhat ridiculous. Maybe he's distracted by his charming girlfriend (Sadie), his moronicly lovable dog (Oscar) or freeloading cat (Hank). Or maybe he's just an idiot savant. I assure you, nonetheless, that he's no more in possession of telekinetic powers than he is of an extra clean towel for a skanky visitor. Good chap, though.

Full updates next weekend. Bob wins the week with 8, Colin and Jug had 7, and I'm the BigLoser with 4. I'm back in 'Sconi through Halloween. Getting outta here before the Election sets the state's cheese stores alight next Tuesday. Hope all's more peaceful in your various polling places (so to speak).

Ever -
E.

Week 7 Results

2004-10-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Bob wins the week, Jug wins another FeaturePick (after being only one point off), and Eric's the BigLoser. Our collective picks are below:

Colin
BALTIMORE
NEW YORK GIANTS
Philadelphia
Jacksonville
MINNESOTA
San Diego
St. Louis
TAMPA BAY
Atlanta
NEW ENGLAND
GREEN BAY
Seattle
New Orleans
Denver
sure pick philly 28-10

Jug
ravens
giants
browns
colts
vikings
chargers
rams
bucs
chiefs
pack
patriots
seahawks
raiders
denver
baltimore 20 Buffalo 7

Bob
1. Ravens -5.5
2.Giants -6.5
3.Iggles -7
4.Colt -9
5.Vikings -6.5
6.Chargers +3
7.Rams -6
8.Bucs -7
9.Chefs -4
10.Patriots -6
11.Packers -3.5
12.Cardinals +6.5
13.Saints +3
14.Broncos -6
FP-Tampa Bay 21, Chicago 11

Eric
Bills
Lions
Philly
Indy
Vikes
Pants
Rams
Bears
Falcons
Pats
Pack
Seahags
'Aints
Broncos
FeaturePick: Pack 27-14

Season well before cahr-broiling to a nice medium-rare....

2004-10-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

Mmmm, I like saaaaalt...do you like saaaaalt...?

Week 6 Results and Overall Standings

2004-10-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

As reported earlier, Colin won Week 6 while Bob won the FeaturePick and BigLoser. Overall updated standings for the year are as follows:

Eric 49-36-3
Jug 47-38-3
Colin 44-41-3
Bob 34-51-3

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3
Jug 4, 5
Colin 6

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1(exacto double-bonus), 3
Colin 2, 5
Bob 4, 6

BigLosers "Won"
Bob 1, 4, 5, 6
Jug 2
Colin 3
Eric 4

And because I never posted last week's Picks, they also are as follows:

Colin
BUFFALO
N.Y. JETS
Seattle
PHILADELPHIA
CLEVELAND
Green Bay
Washington
TENNESSEE
ATLANTA
JACKSONVILLE
Pittsburgh
Denver
Minnesota
Tampa Bay
sure pick jets 31-14

Jug
bills
jets
patriots
panthers
browns
lions
bears
titans
chargers
cheifs
steelers
broncos
vikings
buccaneers
vikings 34 saints 24

Bob
Bills -5.5
Jets -10
SeaHags +4
Iggles -9
Cincy +3
Lions -2
Bearsss -1
Titans -6.5
Falcons -4.5
Chefs -2.5(!?!?!?!)
Boys -3
Broncos -1.5
Vikes -3.5
Bucs +6
FP: Buffalo 17, Mia 12

Eric
Bills
Tits
Lions
Falcons
Bears
49ers
Jags
Cincy
Philly
Pitt
Broncos
Vikes
Bucs
(forgot to include Pats/Seahags pick)
FeaturePick: Pitt 24-17

And so with over a third of the regular season behind us, certain trends are seeming to arise. No need to rub salt into Bob's wounds, in that regard. The Pats, Eagles and Jets have yet to lose, while the Dolphins are winless. Jerry Rice jumped ship to Seattle where he'll have a whole new city worth of tail to chase, Ricky Williams is still in a hazy limbo, Brett Favre's running out of relatives whose untimely drunken deaths might light a fire under his uninspired Pack, Daunte Culpepper is on fire (quite literally - it must hurt), and Ben Roethlisberger's jerseys are popping up all over the white ghettos of Appalacia. All in all, I'd say that we're seeing some quality football this season - none of which is being played in the Bay Area. But like so much of the country, I'm not really giving much thought to the NFL aside from the weekends given the Pennant races still undecided as of this morning. After being in Boston over the past weekend and stomaching the karmic dismantling that was going down 3-0 for the Red Sox, I, like 99.9% of the country thought it was all over. Whatever happens this evening in New York it will be hard to switch gears and worry about the Bears/Bucs or 'Aints/Raidahs games upcoming this weekend. Hard, but entirely doable. Still, I love this time of year as a sports fan. It surely sucks to be living in Canada with no NHL and it will always be lame to cheer for the NBA, no matter where you live. But for the rest of us, this is the time of year that couches were made for. Enjoy your place on yours. I hope to join y'all soon wherever that there may be.

Week 5 Results (oh, so early...)

2004-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

Gents -

Even though the late afternoon games still seem mired in late heroics, I'm able to rule somewhat early on this week's outcome. Jug wins the Double Pot. Colin wins the FeaturePick. And Bob's the Big Loser. Updates will follow after the week's completion. So I'm gonna call it a day and head out for a brew or twenty-two. Love to you and all your culturally-accepted partners.

Ever -
E.

Week 5 Picks

2004-10-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

So here we go again. This week's a DoublePot. Bestest of Luckest.

Colin
NEW ENGLAND
PITTSBURGH
INDIANAPOLIS
ATLANTA
Tampa Bay
DALLAS
Minnesota
N.Y. JETS
Jacksonville
DENVER
SEATTLE
Arizona
Baltimore
GREEN BAY
sure pick new england 27-10

Jug
ne
pitt
indy
atl
tb
nyg
mn
nyj
sd
car
sea
az
balt
gb
mn 31 hou 20

Bob
1.NEW ENGLAND -12½
2.Cleveland +6
3.INDIANAPOLIS -9
4.ATLANTA -6½
5.NEW ORLEANS -3
6.DALLAS -3½
7.Minnesota -4
8.J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS! -6½
9.Jacksonville -2½
10.DENVER -5½
11.SEATTLE -7
12.Arizona +1
13.Baltimore -1
14.GREEN BAY -3
FeaturePick: Jets 23 Bills 15

Eric
Miami
Steelers
Indy
Lions
‘Aints
Giants
Vikes
Jets
Chargers
Broncos
Seahags
Cards
Redskins
Pack
FeaturePick: Seahags 30-20

Bob's Week 5 Picks!

2004-10-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

Home Team in CAPS
1.NEW ENGLAND -12½
2.Cleveland +6
3.INDIANAPOLIS -9
4.ATLANTA -6½
5.NEW ORLEANS -3
6.DALLAS -3½
7.Minnesota -4
8.J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS! -6½
9.Jacksonville -2½
10.DENVER -5½
11.SEATTLE -7
12.Arizona +1
13.Baltimore -1
14.GREEN BAY -3
FeaturePick: Jets 23 Bills 15
GO BRONCOS!!!!

Nearly a-soiled me pantaloons....

2004-10-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

The only thing I'm frustrated about is the state of my boxers, considering the Broncos seeming need to play all games down to the nub (2 pushes out of 4) this season.
Oh, I'm also frustrated by sub my 40% picks; looks as though last years strategy of letting cats walk across my keyboard is in need of revision...and I'm also frustrated by Reagan's attempts to dig his way out of his grave, but that's a mater for another time....
GO BRONCOS!!!!

The Overall Through Week 4

2004-10-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

After 4 weeks have passed of this relatively normal NFL season, I know we're overdue for a full assessment of where we stand as essentially a quarter of the regular season has passed. Let me just say to begin that I hope none of you three are in any way frustrated by my lacksidasical approach to these updates. I so much appreciate not having to deal with the din of childish complaints that typically were offered by the NY franchises. And in a the first positive franchise interest update for next season, after spending a wonderful drunken reunion-like weekend a few weeks ago with (the previously introduced MN friend and now San Jose resident) Patrick Savage I can confidently announce that he wants in next year having seen how we conduct ourselves herein. I'm also canvassing the squishy commies that populate my daily life here in SF and expect to offer up some additional nominees for next year in the months ahead. Regardless, the breakdowns everyone cares about follow:

Overalls through Week 4
Eric 35-22-3
Jug 30-27-3
Colin 28-29-3
Bob 25-32-3

Weeks Won
Eric 1, 2, 3

FeaturePicks Won
Jug 1(exacto bonus of double payout), 3
Colin 2
Bob 4

Big Losernessnesses
Bob 1, 4
Jug 2
Colin 3
Eric 4

And to complete the publication of Week 4's picks, they are as follows:

Colin
GREEN BAY
Philadelphia
Washington
New England
Oakland
Indianapolis
Cincinnati
Atlanta
ARIZONA
New York Jets
Denver
SAN DIEGO
St. Louis
BALTIMORE

Jug
Giants
Eagles
Browns
Patriots
Raiders
Colts
Steelers
Panthers
Cardinals
Jets
Buccaneers
Titans
49ers
Ravens

jets 24 dolphins 10

Bob
(posted previously)

Eric
Giants
Bears
Browns
Pats
Raidahs
Indy
Bungles
Pants
Cards
Jets
Broncs
Tits
Rams
Ravens
FeaturePick: Pants 26-20
___________________________________________

Thusly, we are well underway. Week 5 is a welcomed Double Pot. Favre just lost another relative in an unfortunate Mississippi drunken rollover. Ricky Williams will soon need to hook up with some new dealers in another city. The more things change, the more they stay the same. So may all your Octobers be free of unexpected surprises. Unless, of course, they include a pair of twins stripping their way through nursing school that really want to show inordinate kindness.

Ever -
E.

Bob's Weeeek 4 Picks....

2004-10-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

1. Packers -7
2. Iggles -9
3. Redskins -3
4. Patriots -5.5
5. Raiders -2
6. Colts -3.5
7. Steelers -5
8. Panthers -3.5
9. Saints -3
10. Jets -6
11. Broncos -3
12. Titans -3
13. Rams -3.5
14. Chiefs +6
FP: Rams over Niners 24-16
Good Luck!

Week 3 partial results

2004-09-27T10:22:00.001-07:00

Once again, Eric wins the week (regardless of what happens on MNF). The FeaturePick is still in play - Jug's got the inside track by being 17 points off. Yes, 17. Colin is the week's Lovable BigLoser. The breakdowns minus MNF are as follows:

Week 3
Eric 10-2-1
Jug 8-4-1
Bob 5-7-1
Colin 3-9-1

Thus far Overall
Eric 28-15-2
Jug 21-22-2
Colin 19-24-2
Bob 18-25-2

Weekly Wins
Eric 1, 2, 3

FeaturePicks Weekly Wins
Jug 1 (exacto scoro)
Colin 2

Say what you will about the sized-down Pool, but I think it's working AMAZINGLY well. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get myself a burrito. With extra cheese - living large, that's my mantra. Love to all youse and yo bitches.

Week 3 partial results

2004-09-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

Week 3 Picks

2004-09-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

Gents -

Here we go.

Colin
MIAMI
TENNESSEE
NY GIANTS
CINCINNATI
KANSAS CITY
ST. LOUIS
MINNESOTA
Philadelphia
ATLANTA
DENVER
INDIANAPOLIS
San Francisco
Tampa Bay
Dallas
sure pick atlanta 30-14

Jug
Miami
Ten
NYG
Hou
NO
mn
det
az
den
ind
sea
oak
dal
balt
Minnesota 42 Chicago 20

Bob
1.Phins-1
2.Titans-6
3.The Bew York Football Giants-3
4.Ravens-3
5.Chefs-7.5 (GULP!)
6.Rams-7
7.Vikes-9
8.Iggles-4.5
9.Falcs-10
10.Broncos-10
11.Pack+6
12.Hawks-10
13.Da Raidess-3
14.Skins-1.5
FeaturePick: Seattle 29-16 over SF.

Eric
Pitt
Tits
Giants
Baltimore
Houston
'Aints
Da Bahrs
Philly
Cards
Broncos
Indy
49ers
Da Raidahs
Redskinnys
FeaturePick: Redskins 24-20

Bestest of luckest to allest.

Week 2 Results

2004-09-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone's still unsure, Eric won the week, Colin won the FeaturePick and Jug's the Big Losah. Much can be said about our respective teams irritating performances. But at least Colin's comes out of the first two weeks 2-0. I'll put up a more complete breakdown starting next week. For now though, I hope all's well otherwise.

Week 2 result (jury's still out on FeaturePick)

2004-09-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

The week - one which will certainly never impress anyone with any of our respective showings - goes to me (Eric) no matter what happens tonite. Colin's got the inside track on the FeaturePick - 3 points off his Pats pick. But Jug may sneak one by with his still to come Vikes pick (31-24 on MNF). Regardless, an ugly week all around. The Broncos lost what must have been a fugly one even though I only caught the final fumble by Young Q on DirecTV's Sunday Ticket (the finest technological advance attributable to our space program since Tang). The Pack got snarfed in the most puzzling, unenthused fashion at home - someone must have slipped some triptofan into the brats in the Lambert parking lot (sorry, Kerry - a real cheap shot and all the Bushie pussies know it given their candidate's misimpeachable English skills). The Seahags won ugly, but at least they won. We'll just need to wait and see when it comes to the Vikes if I'm to draw any sort of grandiose conclusion about our Pool participation and the corresponding disappointment visited upon our homies. More later...

Week 2 Picks for the Panel

2004-09-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Colin
Denver
BALTIMORE
Houston
Indianapolis
GREEN BAY
Washington
NEW ORLEANS
St. Louis
KANSAS CITY
Seattle
DALLAS
New England
OAKLAND
SAN DIEGO
Miami
PHILADELPHIA
FeaturePick: patriots 24-10

Jug
denver
pitt
detroit
Indianapolis
Green Bay
New York Giants
New Orleans
ATL
Kansas City
tb
Cleveland
AZ
Oak
NYJ
cincy
MN
FeaturePick: mn 31 phil 24

Bob
1.Chiefs -6
2.Packers -8 1/2
3.Broncos -3
4.Lions -3
5.Titans -1
6.Steelers +3 1/2
7.Saints -7 1/2
8.Rams +2
9.Redskins -3
10.Seahawks -3
11.Da Raidess -3
12.Cowboys -4 1/2
13.Patriots -8
14.Jets -3
15.Bengals -5 1/2
16.Iggles -3
Feature: KC 29-Car 20!
Ah...ah...ah...BRONCOS...choo!!!!

Eric
Denver
BALTIMORE
DETROIT
TITS
Bears
Redskins
San Fran
FALCONS
CHIEFS
Seahags
Browns
CARDS
RAIDERS
Jets
CINCY
PHILLY
FeaturePick: Raiders 28-24

Bestest of luckest to all this week.

Week 2 lines

2004-09-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

So, to be honest, Week 1 was a bit goofy. Jug did something we've all expected might happen for years now - hitting the FeaturePick on the nuts, not having anonymous sex with Prince in a downtown Minneapolis club. Yours truly stumbled through my first week via a random internet cafe in lovely Breckenridge, CO toward a somewhat late filing for the week's results. And then won the week flying largely blind. For the members of our current cadre, however, we went 4-0 based on our hometeam allegiances in what bodes well for, well, at least a week worth of a season. The Seahawks, Broncos, Vikings and Packers all won. Which leads me to surmise that we represent a nice microcosm of the NFL's hopes "any doofus can win this phucker" mantra for 2004-05. In my self-interest, I was especially pleased by the Pack's performance on Monday in Carolina. I'd Tivo'd it (my new best friend) because Sarah and I went out to dinner with new medical/liberal/abortival friends and I wanted to seem supportive of the bread-winner in my household and her respectible ilk. Thereafter, I watched the MNF offering, sans commercials, until 1am PST. One of the best football experiences in recent memory on my end. So I hope y'all otherwise are feelin' something like the luck and the love that I've been ridin' like a brand-new pony all week.

That being said, this week's lines are as follows (home team in CAPS, as per usual):

Denver by 3 JACKSONVILLE
BALTIMORE by 3½ Pittsburgh
DETROIT by 3 Houston
TENNESSEE by 1 Indianapolis
GREEN BAY by 8½ Chicago
Washington by 3 NEW YORK GIANTS
NEW ORLEANS by 7½ San Francisco
ATLANTA by 2 St. Louis
KANSAS CITY by 6 Carolina
Seattle by 3 TAMPA BAY
DALLAS by 4½ Cleveland
New England by 8 ARIZONA
OAKLAND by 3 Buffalo
New York Jets by 3 SAN DIEGO
CINCINNATI by 5.5 Miami
PHILADELPHIA by 3 Minnesota

Let's go crazy. Let's go nuts. Or something to that effect. Hope all's well.

Week 1 Results

2004-09-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

Week 1's winner is Eric (with 10). Jug wins the FeaturePick (a double ante from everyone added since he hit it on thenuts). Bob and Jug are BigishLosers with 8 (Colin had 9). Everyone's Sunday picks follow:

Colin
PITTSBURGH
WASHINGTON
Baltimore
BUFFALO
Cincinnati
Detroit
Arizona
Seattle
HOUSTON
PHILADELPHIA
MINNESOTA
SAN FRANCISCO
Kansas City
Green Bay
surepick - seattle 24-21

Jug
pitt
wash
balt
buf
cincy
chi
zona
sea
hou
phil
mn
sf
kc
car
mn 35 dallas 17

Bob
StL
Balt
Cincy
Chi
Jax
Pitt
Hou
NO
WA
SF
MN
Phil
Den
GB
FP: Denver 32- KC 19

Eric
Cards
Ravens
Jets
Lions
Jags
Steelers
Texans
Seahags
Redskins
Falcons
Vikes
Giants
Broncos
Packers
FeaturePick: Steelers 28-21

Sunday Night Update (just before half in the Broncs' game)

2004-09-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Just got back to San Fran - according to my breakdowns (including Thursday and Saturday games) we're sitting as follows:

Colin - 8
Jug - 8
Bob - 6
Eric - 8

Jug and Colin took KC, I took Denver. Colin and I took the Pack, Jug took the Pants. So do your own math. I'll put everyone's picks up soon enough.

But above all else - holy SurePick, Batman! Jug hit the Vikes score EXACTLY - never happened before. 35-17. Shoulda put a dime down in Vegas on that pup. I'll need to look to what we owe the bastard. I vote for a bowl of soup. Regardless, hope you've enjoyed the opening Sunday.

The Tits and Fins Blowin' in the Wind

2004-09-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

From my current locale (an astonishingly clear and cool Breckenridge), the thoughts of a category 4 hurricane blowing the spleefs outta Kingston's collective mug sounds pretty absurd. So to put the thoughts of a destroyed Grenada and yet another massive blowjob headed Florida's way in the proper unfeeling, self-interested American framing, let's talk football.

Today's weather-resheduled game: Titans by 3

Jug - Titans
Colin - Dolphins
Bob - Titans
Eric - Titans

Since I'm headed to an 8 hour Indian wedding celebration tonite (I can't wait for the ritual sodomizing of the horse), I'm not sure if I'll be getting everyone's picks posted here until after games begin on Sunday. Sorry for the delays in our first week. But Sheridan's odds for the remainder of the weekend as I saw them are (Home teams in CAPS):

PITTSBURGH by 4 Oakland
WASHINGTON by 1½ Tampa Bay
Baltimore by 3 CLEVELAND
BUFFALO by 3 Jacksonville
N.Y. JETS by 4½ Cincinnati
CHICAGO by 3 Detroit
ST LOUIS by 10½ Arizona
Seattle by 2½ NEW ORLEANS
HOUSTON by 4½ San Diego
PHILADELPHIA by 9 N.Y. Giants
MINNESOTA by 4½ Dallas
Atlanta by 3½ SAN FRANCISCO
DENVER by 3 Kansas City
CAROLINA by 3 Green Bay

Enjoy your respective burg's 9/11 saccarine-fueled crapola. Our dead countrymen would have wanted it that way, or so the Bushies would have us believe.

SATURDAY HURRI-GAME!

2004-09-09T17:38:00.000-07:00

As Bob noted, it appears there will be a Saturday re-schedule for Dolphins-Titans. Pussies. There was a time when a hurricane would only be considered a chance to better test a squad's running game. Regardless, use Sheridan's Friday line (as with all other games for the weekend) and get your picks in before the Saturday start.

Astutely noted -
E.

Thursday game and Pre-season Picks

2004-09-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

Thursday's kickoff game line despite the noticed discrepancy by Bob in the USATrashday: Pats by 3.5

Colin - Patriots
Jug - Colts
Bob - Patriots
Eric - Patriots

The following are the best guesses we seem able to offer for the Pre-Season Pot. Heaven help us.

Colin
pats 28
philly 21
indy as my alternate

Jug
Minnesota Vikings 35
Indianapolis Colts 31
Alternate- Baltimore Ravens

Bob
Broncos 26
Seahawks 19
Kansas City is my alternate

Eric
Colts 30
Seahags 20
Alternate - Minnesota Vikings (against every fiber of my being...)

And so it begins, dear friends. I'll do my best to update the blog this weekend, but I leave for Colorado tomorrow morning so I might lag a bit. I'll access my email from the hotel and plug in the picks here ASAP. Rock on, have a great season, I've got DirecTV's Season Ticket at my place in San Fran if you're looking for a weekend getaway complete with too much football viewing, and the best to all your collective families.

Bow Down All Ye Dogs - this is the Best Pool in the World

2004-09-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

OK - Sorry for the cheesy Tenacious D reference ("The Best Song in The World"). But this isn't an overstatement. This will be the Best Pool in the World. And all other Pools will bow down to us in hopes of sucking on the teet that we provide to those so far beneath us.

On second thought, ignore all the grandiose shite. The name will stick. The silly overstatements will not. Or so I hope.